A Vet's Guide to Separation Anxiety in Dogs: How to Help Your Dog Feel Safe When You're Not Home
A Vet's Guide to Separation Anxiety in Dogs: How to Help Your Dog Feel Safe When You're Not Home
Written by Alessandro Didiano (doctor in veterinary medicine, MRCVS)
Disclaimer: This article is personally written by me, a licensed veterinarian with more than a decade of clinical experience. It’s for general information only and not a substitute for professional veterinary advice. Always consult a vet for health concerns or emergencies.
"I haven’t left him alone for a single minute in the last 10 years," she said, gently patting the dog’s head. "When he was a puppy, I left him alone for just half an hour, and when I came back, the living room looked like a war zone. Since that day, he’s come with me everywhere — to work, to the shops, on nights out… even to the bathroom. He’s my soulmate."
Those were the words of a lovely woman , the proud owner of Riley, a 10-year-old German Shepherd who sat quietly by her side, watching me.
I was astonished. In all my years as a vet, I’d never met a person and dog who had been physically inseparable for a whole decade. I found myself thinking fast. Should I say something? Should I gently suggest that maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t the healthiest dynamic, for either of them?
But she seemed so proud and at peace with their arrangement. Before I could respond, she looked at me with and added:
"And I know what you’re thinking, young man — I haven’t had sex in 10 years either!"
Separation anxiety in dogs is one of the most common behavioral issues faced by pet owners, and one of the most heartbreaking. Chewed furniture, non stop barking, or a dog who trembles when you pick up your keys: these are the most common signs, and they are hard to ignore. But the good news is that with understanding and patience, it’s possible to reduce your dog’s anxiety and help them feel secure even when you’re not home.
In this article, we’ll dive into what separation anxiety is, what causes it, how to recognize it in your dog and, most importantly, what you can do to ease their stress.
What Is Separation Anxiety in Dogs?
Separation anxiety happens when a dog experiences distress and panic when they’re left alone or separated from their primary caregiver. It's a true anxiety disorder, which is rooted in fear of abandonment.
Dogs are social animals by nature. Separation anxiety can be seen in any breed, as it seems to be more about the dog’s personality, early experiences, environment, and lifestyle, rather than genetics.
Common Signs of Separation Anxiety
Symptoms can vary, but some of the most common signs include:
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Destructive behavior (chewing doors, scratching at windows, tearing up furniture)
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Excessive barking or howling when left alone
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Pacing or drooling
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Accidents in the house (even if they’re fully house-trained)
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Attempting to escape (digging under fences, breaking through windows or doors)
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Clinginess when you’re home and signs of distress when you prepare to leave
It’s very important to differentiate these behaviours from simple boredom. If your dog is left alone for 12 hours a day regularly, they might not be experiencing separation anxiety: they may simply need more physical and mental stimulation (which is completely understandable). On the other hand, if your dog shows signs of distress even before you leave (like pacing, whining, or panicking as you grab your keys) and these signs appear even during short absences, then separation anxiety is the more likely cause.
What Causes Separation Anxiety?
The causes of separation anxiety can be complex and often involve a combination of factors, the most common of which are:
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Lack of gradual independence training – This is probably the most common cause I see in practice. Puppies that have never learned how to be alone, even for short periods, can struggle as they grow up. If you have a puppy, start gently but soon: let them spend short moments in a separate room with something to chew or play with, and build up from there.
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Past trauma – Dogs from shelters or rescues often carry a history of abandonment. Their anxiety may even not be obvious at first, but it can emerge as they settle in and become attached. These dogs need consistency and a lot of patience.
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Loss of a family member – Dogs form deep emotional bonds, therefore they can obviously grieve too. Losing a bonded person or another pet companion can trigger anxiety. Try to keep the rest of their routine as steady as possible, offer more enrichment and quality time (and affection), and allow them to adjust at their own pace.
Understanding the cause won't fix the issue on its own but, like in every form of therapy, it is the first step towards improvement and it helps you choose the right tools to manage it.
How to Help a Dog With Separation Anxiety
Managing separation anxiety, as simple as it can sound, is all about helping them feel safe and confident when you’re not around. Sounds easy, right? Don't worry, I am well aware that the reality is much more difficult, but here's how you can start.
1. Start with Short Departures
Begin by leaving your dog alone for just a few minutes at a time , literally 5 minutes (or start even by 1 minute, if needed). Don’t make a big deal out when you leave or return.
VERY IMPORTANT: when you are starting this process, only leave the dog once all their needs (food, toilette and play) have been met. This will give you greater chances of success in the long-term. A happy and tired dog is much more likely to succeed than one who is hungry and full of energy which has not been dissipated.
What we are trying to do here is to teach them that your departure is uneventful and, most importantly, temporary.
Gradually increase the time you're away, always making sure your dog remains calm. This process is called desensitization, and yes, it takes patience.
2. Create a Safe Space
You should try to designate a calm and comforting area of the home for your dog. Every dog is different. For some, a crate can serve as a secure “den,” but for others, a quiet room with familiar items may work much better. Relaxing music has also been shown to have a positive effect.
3. Use Positive Associations
Before leaving, offer your dog a special treat (like a long-lasting chew or a stuffed kong with peanut butter) they only get when you’re gone. This can keep them busy and create a positive association with your absence.
VERY IMPORTANT: Avoid giving too much attention when you leave or when you return. Staying relaxed and "low-key" sends the message that leaving the house and coming back are just a normal part of the day.
4. Consider Calming Aids
In addition to training, many dogs with separation benefit from natural calming aids like pheromone diffusers (e.g Adaptil diffusers) and Calming chews. One of my top picks is NutriPaw Calming Treats. They’re made only with natural ingredients (like chamomile and hemp) and can be a gentle support for dogs with mild anxiety. Also, many people have found success with calming products like the Thundershirt for Dogs. This is a gentle way of reducing anxiety through constant and reassuring pressure (it is a bit similar to swaddling a baby).
5. Stay Consistent With Routine
This may not sound as important as the other points, but dogs do feel more secure when their day is predictable. Therefore, try (whenever possible) to keep feeding, exercise, and alone time around the same schedule each day. Routine signals safety, which helps reduce stress.
6. Get Professional Help If Needed
Let’s be clear: training and supplements can be very effective in mild to moderate cases, but some dogs experience such severe anxiety that these initial steps just aren’t enough.
In these cases, it’s very important to seek professional help. A veterinarian can prescribe anti-anxiety medications (such as Fluoxetine), which can make a significant difference in your dog's ability to cope with anxiety.
Working with a certified dog behaviourist can also be very valuable, as they can guide you through more advanced behaviour modification techniques.
What Not to Do
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Please, don’t punish your dog for their anxiety-induced behaviour. It doesn’t fix the issue, it can actually make it worse by creating an even bigger anxiety.
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Please, don’t crate your dog as punishment. A crate is supposed to be a positive and safe space, not a jail.
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Please, don’t expect instant results. Reducing anxiety is a gradual (and often slow) process.
Final Thoughts
Separation anxiety is hard (very hard!), for both you and your dog. But the fact that you’re researching the topic by consuming content like this is already a great sign. It shows that you care and want to change things for the better. With practice, time, patience and the techniques and tools I explained above, even the most severe cases of separation anxiety can show a dramatic improvement.
Take it one step at a time, and accept the fact that you won’t eliminate the anxiety overnight. This process is about gradually and slowly building your dog’s confidence, and helping them trust that you always come back.